Happy Pills

You see, when you spend so much time reminiscing your good 'ol days, you will eventually find yourself uninspired. You need to face new events in life, you need some sort of good accurate series of fortunate events to happen around / to you so you will have something to write about. It does not necessarily include love, bear that in mind.

You need to remind yourself that love is not frequently needed.

You do not need love, Fatin. You only need hugs from the right people, at the right place.

Blue

Entah mana hilangnya my courage to speak with you. 

Black

How do you know if he is the one for you? 

You just... know. 

#2

I can't promise to be there for you, eternally. 

#1

Ada orang tanya, "Macam mana?" 
Jadi aku balas, "Macam mana, apa?". Sebab aku rasa although dia bukan antara stranger dalam hidup aku, aku masih tak boleh faham dengan pertanyaannya itu. "How?"? How apa?

Macam mana hidup ke? 
Macam mana kerja? 
Macam mana sekolah? 
Macam mana, apa? 

Tolong be specific. Our small social distance doesn't necessary mean we have that "telepathy" thingy untuk aku faham setiap pertanyaan yang kau utarakan. 

Reading Time With Pickle

I am not good with words. I can't arrange words perfectly to form a beautiful statement / sentence that can influence readers. 

I can never write a poem, I am not a poet no matter how many times I have tried to be one. 

I can't be a writer, I write trash, what I write is rubbish. My writings can never leave any impact on readers' emotions / feelings. 

There I said it. 

Quiet / Quite

Sometimes I wish you would take pictures of me when I am doing something / saying something, process the pictures and paste them on the wall of your room. Or keep them in a book. 

Brooklyn

I like to pretend that I am pseudolistening whenever you ask me why I like you. Selalunya aku mcm ya apa you kata tadi, kemudian diikuti dengan pertanyaan kopi atau teh. ego engkau pula seperti menyesak nyesak dalam badan lalu engkau hanya mampu kata ahh just forget about it.


Selalunya begitu. Nak saja aku kata kan "Sometimes you like and need someone for no reason, like a bee needs honey or like your favorite movie; where the storyline is typical, but you still like it. Get it?" dan sumbatkan roti dalam mulut engkau supaya pertanyaan engkau terhenti di situ. 


Gee, I don't know. I do not like you for your handsomeness nor your sexy pink-ish lips. I... just like you. For how romantic and stewwpid you can be when you are with me. Dan macam mana kaki engkau melingkari kaki aku bila, bila kita saling berpelukan. It's like you're telling me that you're not only going to protect me mentally, but also physically. It's not really about your physical look. 


Maybe it's your vocal cues. Like how low your voice is when you want to talk to me about choosing a rose or a lily, and how the pitch of your voice suddenly changes bila engkau keluar dengan Zaril, Hakim dan Rozaid. Atau macam mana rapidnya speech engkau bila aku begitu dekat dgn kau dan kau macam hmm hmm hmmmm memikirkan apa yang hendak dikatakan pada aku. 


Atau mungkin your facial expressions yang dibuat bila aku cerita yang pancakes aku pagi tadi hangus, atau tentang kedatangan aliens dari planet-entah-apa atau, atau mungkin rupa engkau yang serupa beruang bila aku katakan barang dapur sudah habis. Maybe, just maybe.


Or maybe it's your body language that changes di dua situasi yang berbeza. I don't know. I am no good in observing non-verbal communication. You tell me. 

..........


I wish I could tell you all of this. Boleh lah perempuan lain terdiam, boleh lah aku jerit dekat satu dunia that you are mine. Boleh lah aku peluk engkau bila bila aku mahu. Boleh lah hmm hmm hmm lama lama lepas makan chocolate cookies sama sama. 


Oh well, it's a platonic relationship by the way. What do you expect? 

Hi Samson,

You are the only song that can put me to sleep.

Stay With Me, I Don't Want To Be Alone

I had so many chances to get it broken, yet I chose not to. I neglected the chances, and I am glad I did. Because the only thing that matters right now is to love people who appreciate me, and leave some tulips to people who don't.

Happy holidays SPM leavers! And oh oh, you too :-) 

Heavy In Your Arms

Something/Somebody is needed to fill my mind's canvas. Paint it blue, or peach, I don't care.

O + I = ?

Your Hands in Mine - Explosions in the Sky
Postcards - Furniture

Snow Brigade - Mew
Take Me Somewhere Nice - Mogwai
Follow the Map - Mono
Where Does the Good Go? - Tegan & Sara
Why Do You Let Me Stay Here - She & Him
Some of Mia Palencia's

Which explains why I can only hum the latest songs played on the radio.

lies

when you have finally
figured out that santa claus has never existed,
when you have finally
figured out that tooth fairy was just a lie

what would you do
if all of these are just lies,
would you kiss the ground,
and be alright?

lelaki

Lelaki,

kalau niat di hati kau hanya untuk,

binasakan hati aku,

rosakkan fikiranku,

porak - perandakan pelangi 9-warna yang aku cipta,

keluarlah,

pergilah.

before i hate you even more

Sayang,

katakan ya,

dan aku akan,

petik bintang yang tertinggi untuk kamu 

18 years old

I miss you,

your smile and your laugh,

and also your hair,

the way you look at me

just everything.

I miss everything about you

19years

Kau aku,

dan tasik itu,
di atas bangku biru,
kita melepaskan rindu